Choosing Words That Work for You

Language plays a critical role in shaping your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. If you struggle with anxiety or depression, the choice of words you use to describe your emotions can even more significantly impact your ability to cope with and manage your well-being. By becoming aware of the language you use and developing the skill of choosing more helpful ways to express the same thoughts, you can manage your emotional well-being better and cultivate healthier thought patterns.

The Power of Language on Emotions

Language influences how you perceive and experience emotions. The words you use to describe your feelings can either help you work through and manage your emotions or intensify your emotional struggles. Here are some ways in which language impacts you in troubling ways:

Labeling emotions: The way you label your emotions affects how you experience them. For someone with anxiety, using strong, negative words like “panic” or “terror” makes their anxious feelings worse very quickly. Choosing more neutral or less charged words, like “nervous” or “worried,” creates a more balanced experience. Similarly, if you struggle with depression using less intense language to describe your feelings, such as “disappointed” instead of “devastated” makes a big difference.

Catastrophizing: Exaggerating the severity of a situation leads to more anxiety and depression. Phrases like “I can’t handle this” or “everything is falling apart” make it difficult to work with your emotions and find solutions to your problems. Using more accurate and realistic language, like “this is challenging, but I can handle it” or “some things aren’t going well, but I can work through them,” help you maintain perspective and manage your emotions better.

Self-critical language: Harsh, self-critical language can significantly affect your self-respect, self-confidence and emotional well-being. When using negative self-talk like “I’m a failure” or “I’m worthless,” negative beliefs about yourself are reinforced and intensify your emotional distress. Adopting kinder, more compassionate language, like “I’m learning” or “I made a mistake, but I’m going to grow from this,” will improve your self-image and help build your emotional resilience.

Developing Skill in Choosing Better Language

By being more conscious of the language you use and making a deliberate effort to choose more helpful ways of expressing your thoughts, you create a more supportive mental environment for managing your emotions. Here are some strategies for developing your skill in choosing better language:

Increase your awareness: Start by becoming more aware of your internal dialogue and the language you use to describe your emotions and experiences. Pay attention to the words you choose and how they make you feel. Notice any patterns of unhelpful language you tend to use, particularly any related to amplifying any anxiety or depression you experience.

Use sentence stems: Sentence stems can help guide your thoughts and language choices towards more helpful and empowering phrases. Examples of sentence stems include “One thing I can do to handle this situation is…” or “I feel emotion because….” These stems encourage you to focus on solutions and explore the reasons behind your emotions.

Identify and challenge cognitive distortions: Cognitive distortions are irrational or exaggerated thought patterns that contribute to emotional distress, particularly in anxiety and depression. Common distortions include all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization and magnification. By recognizing these distortions and challenging them with more balanced thoughts, you can improve your emotional well-being.

Practice mindfulness meditation: Mindfulness meditation can help increase your awareness of your language patterns and create more space for your intentional language choices. By practicing mindfulness, you can become more aware of the thoughts and feelings that come up inside you and allow you to choose more helpful and empowering language to use to describe your emotions and experiences.

Replace negative language: Identify negative, exaggerated or self-critical language in your thoughts and replace it with more accurate, balanced and compassionate alternatives. For example, instead of saying “I always mess things up,” try “I made a mistake, but it’s now my opportunity to learn how to do it better.”

Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Use gentle, supportive language when you talk to yourself, and remind yourself that everyone experiences setbacks and challenges. This can be especially important if you struggle with anxiety or depression, since self-compassion helps counteract many negative thought patterns.

Reframe situations: When faced with difficult emotions or circumstances, try to reframe the situation by using more empowering language. Focus on what you can control and the steps you can take to improve the situation, rather than dwelling on the negative aspects. For instance, instead of thinking, “I’ll never overcome my anxiety,” consider saying, “I’m working on managing my anxiety. It’s taking some time and solid effort, but I’m making progress.”

Find support: Share your efforts to change your language with friends, family or a therapist. They can provide encouragement, feedback and suggestions for different language choices that can be more helpful and empowering. This support can be particularly helpful with anxiety or depression, since it reinforces the new language strategies you’re growing and practicing.

Be patient: Changing the language you use to describe your emotions and experiences takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself as you work to develop new habits and thought patterns. Remember that while your progress may be slow, with consistent effort, you’ll be noticing improvements in your emotional well-being and resilience soon.

Journaling: Writing your thoughts and emotions down can be an excellent way to become more aware of the language you use and help you identify areas for change and improvement. Regularly journaling can also help you track your progress, develop your self-reflection skills and reinforce your new healthier language choices. Journaling can also serve as a helpful tool for processing your emotions and monitoring the impact your language changes are having on your well-being.

Remember…

The language you use to describe your emotions and experiences plays a critical role in your ability to handle and work with your emotions effectively, particularly when anxiety or depression are involved. By becoming more aware of the language you use and consciously choosing more helpful and empowering ways to express your thoughts, you can improve your emotional well-being and develop healthier thought patterns surprisingly quickly.

Finally, remember that changing deeply ingrained habits takes time and consistent effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work on developing your new language choices and thought patterns. As you practice choosing better language to describe your emotions and experiences, you’ll probably find that managing your emotions becomes easier. This helps you to start building resilience and start thriving in the face of life’s challenges.